Baldstool: A Trip I'll Remember for The Rest of My LIfe

Where does one even begin when telling the story of one of the best weeks of their life? I guess I might as well start at the beginning. It all kicked off after I spent an hour and a half in the TSA line, finally making it to the bar to join my colleagues for our preflight termies. Everyone knows a trip doesn’t start at the destination—it starts with your first airport beer. The moment Rudy, White Sox Dave, Wonton, Eddie, and I raised our beers and cheered to Baldstool, I knew this was going to be an iconic trip.

I’ll spare you the details of the 10-hour flight, but the second we touched down in Istanbul, it was demon time for Baldstool. Since we weren’t allowed to drink 72 hours before our procedure, that first night became our Super Bowl. We got absolutely hammered on some Turkish liquor, which was essentially a clear Jägermeister. It was delicious and went down like water. But what really set this dinner apart from any other I’ve ever had was the fact that we could smoke at the table.

If you’ve never smoked a cigarette indoors, let me tell you—it’s life-changing. In the States, lighting up inside is practically worse than smoking crack on the street, so the fact that it was legal and judgment-free? Next-level. And let me tell you, White Sox Dave is that dude. We were like MJ and LeBron—two goats trading shots, cigarettes, bites, and songs. It was beautiful. And it wasn’t just us going hard; the entire restaurant was in on it. Every few minutes, the whole place would stop eating, get up, and dance to whatever song was playing. I’ve never seen anything like it. It felt like the entire restaurant was sitting at the same table. It was magical—so many strangers acting like old friends.

After conquering dinner, we hit the streets of Istanbul. I’ll be honest, I didn’t listen to much of what the tour guide said. I picked up bits and pieces, but mostly I was just soaking in the view. If you’re here for a history lesson, go watch Donnie’s vlog because I’m not about to educate you. However, I will tell you about the incredible exchange rate. I went from being a broke American to living like Dave Portnoy overnight. 3,400 Turkish lira was equivalent to $100. You do the math. As Drake once said, “I got money to blow.” The boys and I went on a shopping spree. I bought an entirely new wardrobe to the point where I had to buy another suitcase—which, by the way, only cost me $10.

Now, let’s talk food. Despite the fact that it had me shitting my brains out nightly, the food was incredible. That said, my Italian soul was dying for pasta, and all I got was beef and lamb. Everywhere we ate, though, they put on a show. Or maybe they were just showing off because Donnie had his camera out. Either way, every meal felt like a scene out of a movie.

As for the procedure? I have never experienced pain like that in my life. The surgery itself was painless, but the 30 anesthesia shots they pumped into my head? Intolerable. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. To make matters worse, while they’re jabbing enormous needles into my dome, Wonton Don was in the room fist-pumping and live-streaming the whole thing.

Once the numbing kicked in, the procedure was fine—just long. Luckily, the staff at Este Nove was incredible and took great care of me throughout.

The day after surgery, though? By far the worst. It felt like a lion had sunk its claws into my scalp and bounced my head around like a basketball. The bandages on the back of my head felt like a cement block glued there. But once they removed the bandages, I felt like a new man, and the pain quickly faded. Honestly, I was shocked at how fast the turnaround was—I went from thinking I was going to die to feeling like myself again in no time.

Once the whole crew had their fresh hairlines, it was time to celebrate. And what better way than on a yacht, recreating the iconic New York Giants boat picture? It felt like a scene out of a movie. The weather was perfect, the music set the vibe, and the boys were all in great spirits. Everywhere I looked, someone was smiling—except Eddie. He didn’t show up to the yacht, which broke my heart. There was no reason for him to miss it, but it is what it is. While Eddie stayed in bed, the rest of us celebrated this new chapter in our lives. Baldstool was, without a doubt, one of the greatest weeks of my life. The brotherhood we formed on that trip will last a lifetime. I can’t wait for you guys to see this video.

#Baldstool4Ever